As a newly engaged the first thing you probably did was discuss with everyone the budget for your wedding. After that, the next most important task is to devise a guest list. The guest list will impact all of the rest of your decisions like the size needed for the reception, the money you are able to allocate for décor and food and beverage.
Here are some guidelines. In general, ½ of the list is for the Bride and her Family and ½ of the list is for the Groom and his Family. Keep in mind that people mostly come in pairs. So you may have 5 couples but that means ten people.
You do not need to invite singles to bring a date. Etiquette is on your side on that. But if someone is married, engaged or living together it would be considered improper to invite only one of the “couple.”
Be very careful in inviting co-workers. The landscape of the workplace changes. Make a list of must have and maybes to help you bring the list into reality. If you do not want children then do not invite them. The envelope says who is invited. If someone asks if they can bring their family, tactfully say we don’t have room or something to that effect. The one exception would be children in the wedding party. Then implement this decision across the board.
Also keep in mind that distant relatives or those you rarely see do not need to be invited. Only you and your parents can make that judgment call.
If your parents are paying for all or a majority of the wedding, they certainly should have final say on who is on “their” list. It would be wrong for parents to insist they need so many (X #) of spots if they have no financial contribution to the wedding. Someone has to set some parameters. That usually happens with a frank discussion between the Bride, the Groom and the others who are financially contributing (like bride’s parents).
In a perfect world you could do whatever you want, have as many or as few people as you might like, and no one would object. But weddings are about compromise, and it is wise to air the financial issues early on.
Happy Wedding Planning.
Planning Your Guest List
Remembering Loved Ones
As you are making plans for your wedding it is very possible and also very common to remember loved ones not able to be present at your wedding – whether they are deceased or not able to travel.
How do you honor those people? One perfect way is with flowers in a unity arrangement. The floral piece can be designed of mostly greenery and then use a single full open bloom for each person. You can mention this in your program or just hold the thought in your heart.
Other brides have done an entire arrangement in honor of their loved ones. They add something like this in the program: “the flowers gracing the sanctuary are in memory of our loved ones who are not with us today.”
Be sure to list any deceased person of importance in the program. Certainly you would mention parents, siblings, grandparents. It could go further but that depends upon the relationship and closeness to the bride and groom.
I do not think it is wise to use photographs because it might make the wedding turn into more of a memorial service, which is not what it should be.
Vintage wedding pictures of your grandparents would most certainly work, and no doubt your grandparents would smile on the gesture.
Even if you have a family member who is not able to travel like a grandparent, it is certainly fine to mention them in the program. One of the ways to distinguish the living from the deceased is to put the deceased name in Italic print.
Flowers and a lovely sentiment in your program will be just the right touch to remember the ones you love who are not present at your wedding.
Wedding Invitations Start to Finish
This invitation has great typesetting, the interest of the top folded card and a second layer.
When you look, give yourself about an hour or more to select. You will want to look at the displays of recent invitations, look through books, and then in about 30 minutes you will be able to zero in on your style. The stationer will give you a price estimate based on the number that you need and tell you what the deposit will be. If you are ready to move forward, give the deposit and work on the wording.
The stationer should also know etiquette and how to word things correctly. Bring the basics of date, time, place and addresses. Use e-mail to confirm that wording. If it is submitted correctly there should be no surprises.
How long does this process take? About three weeks is the norm, so select and order invitations no less than 4 months in advance. You should get an e-mail copy of just the wording for each piece. From there the Invitation Specialist will submit copy to the typesetter and you should then get a Proof. The proof is done in the fonts you have chosen. This is what will be printed – make sure it is correct. Every time a new proof is ordered the company makes another proof charge. And every time there is a change with another proof, it takes more time.
Once you have approved the proof for print, figure it will take two weeks to actually get delivery of the invitations. Your stationer should count the entire order and assemble one invitation for you so you know how it should look when you take the invitation out of the envelopes.
The magic moment arrives with the delivery from the UPS truck. Opening the invitation for the first time with the invitation specialist is often a magical moment. It sometimes is the reality link that “this wedding is really going to take place.” Savor the moment.
Good planning is important to this all-important piece of the wedding. The invitation sets the tone for your wedding and is the first glimpse into the celebration that will unfold.
Guests at a Wedding
As an invited guest at a wedding, you will want to maintain a certain poise and decorum.
It all starts with the invitation. A reply card is normal to send with the invitation. Did you send it back? Be sure that you send it back in a timely fashion, so that the wedding planner or mother of the bride or groom does not have to call you. The final phase of planning takes place in the last 4 weeks before the wedding. Much of what has to get done depends on the number of guests attending.
Many reply cards say number attending. Look at the address. If your invitation is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and you can both attend, write in two. If you have children of ANY age, and their names are not on the envelope or inner envelope, they are NOT invited. Do not say you are bringing them.
Every wedding has a budget. It is likely that the per/person spending could reach or exceed $100 a person. How would you like it if you had to spend an extra $3000 or more for uninvited guests.
The bride and groom spend huge amounts of time planning their wedding with their wedding planner and parents. Be sure that if you accept the invitation to the wedding, you follow some simple tenets.
1. Dress appropriately for the venue and for the special occasion.
2. While an Open Bar is normal at a wedding, that does not mean to drink until you drop. Be moderate.
3. Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend may not be known to the couple. Don’t bring someone not invited. This is not a charity ball, it is a life celebration.
4. One of the most difficult tasks is preparing a seating plan for the guests. If you don’t know everyone at your table, decide that is an opportunity to get to know some new people, and don’t complain about the choice of table mates to others. After all, you only have to sit there during dinner.
5. Remember that a wedding is about the Bride and the Groom, not about you. Be gracious,
At least half the weddings we hear about have some large or small story about the ungracious guest. Be sure that you are not one of them. Do your part to make the wedding day a joyful day for all, especially the Bride and Groom.
Your Dream Wedding Team
Putting your dream wedding team together is really crucial to your wedding day. Involving your wedding planner from the beginning is the best investment you can make. Not only can she perhaps save you some money, she will save you time and stress and make sure you have the best possible team available.
The other issue in finding the team is to make sure that all components mesh well. You don’t want duplication of services and you don’t want anything overlooked. I was thinking about that today at a networking luncheon where I found myself sitting with some of the best service providers in the city.
I was telling them that we just completed perhaps the most beautiful wedding of my career. And then realized that people from the entertainment portion and the catering portion, were sitting next to me. It was a magnificent wedding and everyone performed flawlessly.
It was also a wedding where Events by Design provided the invitations, the flowers, and the wedding planning team. We had minor logistical issues to solve on the day of the wedding, there are always a few, but with great professionals who can think and act on your behalf, your wedding is in good hands.
The other reason to involve your planner early is that if you do come up with a snafu, your planner knows who to call for backup. You will make the selections but be sure to let your wedding planner know who you are speaking with. You may get some interesting input.
Hiring a Dream Team for your wedding day makes your day a dream come true, filled with warmth and joy and many happy memories.
Wedding Jewelry
For my wedding I was given a strand of opera length pearls by my soon-to-be husband. I of course wore those on my wedding day. It is still a favorite piece of jewelry and I still love the look for weddings.
Some brides opt to wear heirloom gems – perhaps something from a grandmother or even a great grandmother. Some also use a necklace and earrings borrowed from their own mother.
If none of these are an option or if you think you have a different aesthetic, you can certainly buy something new. Crystal and rhinestone necklaces are found in many places and feature a high-end Princess look. Be sure that earrings and necklace coordinate and that when you look in the mirror it is “you.”
Ceremony Decor
This beautiful ceremony decor designed by Gene Fulmer, set the stage for the romantic nuptials.
The Importance of Ceremony
It is no secret that I love a church ceremony. The ceremony after all is the reason that people gather and come to your wedding.
A house of worship is an ideal place to have your ceremony. It is a structure built to encourage worship to God and it is a fitting place for a liturgy. That makes it ideal for a ceremony celebrating a marriage, which is a sacred bond and a covenant between a man and a woman.
If you do not belong to a congregation there are of course other options. Most hotels, clubs and other venues deal with the set-up of ceremonies all the time. They are well versed in the logistics of the room set up and also the tear down for the reception if they do not have a separate room.
Having a ceremony at a hotel venue also makes it convenient for guests to be all in one place.
If your ceremony is in a house of worship and you have many out of town guests, consider hiring a coach to move guests from there to the reception. Be sure to add in the time that it takes for guests to board the coach, get to the church, and then board again. Most bus companies will make multiple trips in a cycle, getting some people there early and others there just in time.
As a bride and groom, be sure to talk to your clergy or officiating person about all of the aspects of ceremony. You want to decide on readings, music, other participants, and finally your vows. In a house of worship you can usually expect help with this process. With a hired officiant it is possible you will have to research much of this yourself.
The ceremony is a very important aspect of your day. It is also the one part where your parents and wedding party feel a little nervous about their various roles. It is very helpful to have your Wedding Planner on board to help direct people, remind them of what they should do first , next and last, and to encourage all of you that you are doing a great job.
If you spend some time to plan your ceremony well, you will be rewarded with a very Joyful Day indeed.
You Will Never Get Tired Of …
The principles of interior design really do translate to wedding design. I recently read an article on interior design that caught my eye, and here is my interpretation for weddings.
You’ll never get tired of keeping it simple. If you love to manipulate, sew, paint, glue and cut out then by all means do that for your wedding for place cards, favors, and programs. But if you are like most brides with a full time job you recently started, you will be so happy that you decided to keep it simple. That includes keeping the planning simple, getting things done in a timely fashion, not all at the last minute, and trusting your Wedding Planner to help.
You’ll never get tired of quality. This is so true for life and most certainly weddings. Quality service providers make all the difference in the smooth flow of your wedding day. Does your florist understand your vision and will he execute that vision in a timely manner? Is your wedding planner educated and experienced enough to deal with your needs, the schedule and all the service providers in a calm efficient way? Have you hired a quality venue with a quality caterer (this is huge)? Quality may come with a slightly higher price tag (or not) but you will never regret having gone there.
You’ll never get tired of great details. The special dance at just the right moment, the exuberant entrance of the bride and groom, the beautiful floral at the entrance to the room that says welcome, the special place card table, the guest table with a welcoming floral arrangement and lovely candlelight, the menu cards with the printed menu you so carefully chose in a style that suits your wedding. These are all details that abound at a high-end wedding but are not out of reach for any wedding.
Keep these three ideas in mind when you start the planning process. Hire a Wedding Planner to help keep you on track and in budget, and you will always remember that your day was your way with everything you dreamed it could be.
Enchanted Woodland Wedding part 2
The silver overlay was used on the 2 head tables flanking the sweetheart table. Love the hanging votives!
Under the direction of designer David Strohmeyer, there were 3 different centerpieces for the tables. The two wedding party tables, flanking the sweetheart table had glass vases with bare branches and hanging votives. Hanging from the branches were clusters of smilax that gave the effect of moss hanging from the trees. These tables had a silver overlay like dew on the forest floor.
Another arrangement included varying height vases with floating candles and a wreath of blooms and greens surrounding it. Finally a third type was a tall glass vase with an arrangement on top of primarily lush greens with a sprinkling of purple flowers. Finishing every table were purple and silver votives, menu cards at an angle under the napkin, and silver chargers on purple silky floor length tablecloths.
The dance floor had five sets of branches hanging from the ceiling. Attached to the branches were greens and more hanging smilax. Lighting all this were purple up lights on the perimeter by Evans AV, and a bliss light directed at the ceiling décor that looked like hundreds of tiny fireflies twinkling throughout the night.
Allison and David were the only people announced into the room and broke into their first dance immediately to “Who are You When I’m Not Looking.” Grace was led by the aunt of the bride and then the father of the bride gave a welcome to everyone and a very emotional toast.
After a fabulous duo entrée, guests enjoyed the music especially selected for the evening by the newlyweds. The beautiful cake had “peeling bark” for icing and as if that were not enough, guests also enjoyed a late night snack.
What a magical wedding to be a part of.
